This is Only The Beginning!

Hello everyone!

My name is Raven Anne, I am 30 years old and I live in Southern California. I study Journalism at CSUDH and I am set to graduate next spring.

This year was supposed to be “my year.” This year was shaping up to be one of the most formative years of my life. I had all these big plans and dreams and in the blink of an eye everything was put on hold… sound familiar?

I’ve gone through every emotion imaginable in these past few months, as I’m sure you have. I’ve doubted myself and my vision. I’ve felt guilty for feeling shitty when I know without a doubt that other people have it harder than I do. I think I am struggling to find myself through the chaos, and I feel like I need to write it all down. I need to get it all out. A safe space to express myself and my thoughts. I have so many of them floating around in my head and it can get loud in there if I ignore them.

I’ve struggled with anxiety since my early teens, and the pandemic mixed with a civil rights movement has only made my symptoms worse and harder to handle. I don’t always have the words to describe how I feel and I think a lot of people in the world are feeling the same. Not really knowing how to feel or what is appropriate. We’re all just trying to do the best we can.

I had a pretty regular routine before the lockdown began. I was going to the gym 4-5 days, going to school 4 days and working 3 days every week. I was busy but I was on a good track for myself. I finally found a groove that was working for me and my mental health was probably the best it had ever been. But overnight, all of that changed. My anxiety has been steadily increasing as the time has gone on and I am doing my best to combat my symptoms.

I wouldn’t say that my coping mechanisms are perfect or that I make all the right decisions, but I’m trying. Home workouts, yoga, reading, meditation, and naps are helping. I’ve noticed I’ve started drinking more alcohol and spend more time scrolling than I normally would, too. I know I could be laying off the sauce a little more but sometimes it helps curb my anxious feelings. But it’s always temporary. Definitely not a “solution” by any means. But I’m human.

My goal with this blog is for it to be an outlet for me and maybe alleviate some of the chaos within myself. I want to create something that matters to me and talk about life from my perspective. I struggle with imposter syndrome more than I would like to admit, but I think we all have the right to speak from our hearts and share it with people who need to hear it.

I think every person alive has an opportunity to use their struggles and turn it into something good. Something meaningful and genuine, whether that be for themselves or others. My intention is to do both. To be vulnerable and seek growth within myself but allow others to feel safe and let them know that they aren’t alone.

Life is fucking hard. Nobody has all the answers. I will never pretend that I do. But what I do have is a unique insight and experience, and I would love to share it with you. I’m not an expert on life or anything, but I think I have enough stories to make you laugh and cry (or both), as well as some pretty solid advice somewhere up my sleeve. It would honestly be a waste to keep it to myself.

:)

Thank you for being here.

You matter and you are valid in feeling however the fuck you feel right now.

We’ll work through this together, I got you.

XOXO

Raven Anne